we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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