I love black thongs
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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