Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
