Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My Higher Power is John Stamos
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
