Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
