I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
