first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
