why didn't you poke me back
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
