I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
