dude i'm inner monologue high
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sorry my hands just texted you
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
