the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
