So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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