the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I didn't notice because vodka
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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