Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
