she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
