Umm I'm too high to move.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
