I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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