I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
