Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
