Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
