Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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