I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
