I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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