I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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