Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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