Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
