a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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