True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
