yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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