So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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