how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
