mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Drunk is a universal language darling
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
