i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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