I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
she was so not down for the gang bang
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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