I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
