Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
