Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
