I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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