I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
