i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think I sprained my soul last night
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
