I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize