I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
