so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize