He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
