Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
