My sheets look like a crime scene.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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