singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
