I want to walk on stilts...naked
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
