your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
