somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
