What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
